Saturday, February 25, 2006

Looking Back At The Past Year

If you had read my posts, the past year, you would have thought I was suicidal. Alright, it practically was suicide; I believed, before, that my life was dreadful, in consequence, it became dreadful and, the feeling of melancholy soared beyond whatever...

I had hated my looks, eczema condition, others who ignorantly tagging me with hurtful labels-which some:I felt were true, financial situation, worry for my parents' waning(in terms of health) ever so slowly, stress from school and, it consequently lead to family problems- problems between the family and me. All, was caused by the perception/self-pity I had on myself, thus, affecting my confidence greatly.

It is amazing, the extent the brain can compel you to believe wrongness in yourself; a minor problem to be a major problem. That in itself causes you other problems. Do you fathom the vicious cycle? Because of your unrealistic attachments to what you see or do not see in, let's say, the media; a stereotypical loving family; a stereotypical face of beauty; a broken family; ugliness. Let me elaborate- you are watching the television and you watch the 'lives' of people who come from unbroken families in the programme show and, slowly, you start believing that if your family does not fulfill the behavioral mannerisms in the show, it is abnormal, broken and whatsoever.

Briefly, you have made, what you have seen on the media, as a benchmark of how things must go/be. The media and views of people have certainly stereotyped people into different categories. The key is not to let anyone categorise you; even if they did, who are they to define who you really are?

Renounce, I repeat, renounce. What is there to renounce? - you ask. Renunciation of attachment and ego(namely self-pity) partially will greatly assist you in life. Why do I say self-pity? For such emotional distress to occur, there must have been comparison- have you not weighed yourself against another person?-self-pity. Think it this way, everyone has problems, to a certain extent(it does not matter how much) but, be sure about this, no one wants to be depressed and unhappy. Once again, can you perceive that we are all equal.

Whatever I have said, you can choose to believe or not; you can choose to believe partially. It does not matter. What matters is that you have critically thought about what I have written, with an open-mind. After all, the part on not being stereotyped, renunciation, equality of problems has helped get out of heavy depression. Anyway, the point on renunciation is adopted from the Buddhist philosophy which has no doubt helped me. I am, changed within. Remember, you don't have to believe what I say, think it through...

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